On how to let go of my flip-flops and my twenties

Today, I asked myself to slow down.

(I don't really know how many todays its has been, this post is taking me three days to finish.)

I only have 3 years left before I reach 30 and though that shouldn't be such a big deal in this day and age, at this point in my life, it is to me.

Three months after celebrating my 27th birthday, I've had encounters with people who've had interesting things to say about age and so I've started thinking too much about my so-called incoming "glorious thirties."

One conversation I had about this was on the topic of Age Appropriate Fashion. Now for the longest time, ever since I could remember, my go-to outfit on laidback days (and in Cebu we have a lot of those) would be a comfortable shirt, shorts and my Havaianas flip flops. I specify the brand because for me, the brand changed the way we see flip flops and made it okay to wear them almost everywhere (at least in Cebu.) So going back to the topic on Age Appropriate Fashion, I was talking with a Beauty Columnist who is more or less the same age as I am. And she said something like, ladies who are in their early twenties can still get away with wearing teenager outfits. But the moment you reach 25 and above, you should slowly transition to dressing up like a lady, starting with eliminating flip flops from your wardrobe and replacing them with dressier flats.

I've been ignoring that rule for 2 years. And ever since that conversation, I still continued wearing my flip flops on an almost daily basis.

But really, at what age did you start worrying about whether your OOTD was age appropriate or not?

You see, I never worried about those things. I thought, I could wear shirts-shorts-slippers forever until I became a lola. Well, not really...but you know like for a much more longer time. I didn't expect that privilege to expire two years ago.

What happened? When did I cross that line between being a "Young Professional/Yuppie" to just being a  "Professional."

When I was still working for TV and I would introduce myself as the director/producer of what we were shooting, I'd always be told "Wow you're so young!" and I'd smile on the inside, feeling very pleased. Now I'd have office mates far younger than me who calls me "Miss" and asks me if I'm married! Eeeep!

But then there are also those who tell me that there are up sides to entering your thirties. The sensei said that it will be easier to let go, detach...accept. Things that at this age, I'm finding a little difficult to process. Now that--- I'm looking forward to.

I'm friends with a lot of people older wiser than me and through them, I see that entering your thirties is not all bad. But sometimes I think it will be easier once I get it over and done with ---meaning be 30 already. However, life doesn't work that way.

All these little realizations pile up to one big major possibility: I rushed through life.

I was so bent on proving myself to --- the world? So unforgiving of myself over not being "successful" based on how I perceived success. I sucked at making long term plans but somehow almost always got ahead of myself by over thinking everything.

I was told that its probably the phenomenon called Saturn Returns. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia:

Saturn Return is an alleged phenomenon which is described as influencing a person's life development at 27 to 29 or 30-year intervals. These intervals or "returns" coincide with the approximate time it takes the planet Saturn to make one orbit around the sun, i.e. 29.4 years. It is believed by astrologers that, as Saturn "returns" to the degree in its orbit occupied at the time of birth, a person crosses over a major threshold and enters the next stage of life.

Well maybe it is Saturn Returns.Or maybe there's no such thing. But, I have decided to make a conscious effort to slow down and stop chasing the day.

A wise person once told me to start living in the now. Living in the present sounds so nice, and easy and practical...but go ahead and try it and tell me that you didn't have a hard time.

Living in the now is appreciating life's small gifts on a daily basis. To be a little bit less cautious. To be present all the time.Heck I don't even know what all that means completely but I'm going to figure that out.

It is not easy but I must try harder. Or else I'll wake up one day, realize I'm 50 and wonder what I did with my life. 

I have barely three years left before I turn 30. And that is fine. I don't need to make a bucket list of things I need to do before I reach that age. Life will have to take care of that.

I'm living in the now, now.